How do you counteract the natural survival reflex of negativity bias and inevitable criticism that meets a life of creativity?
Enter the “Smile File” of praise, thanks, and acknowledgment from others. One of a slew of tools to refresh, inspire, and motivate when we feel down or burnt out.
You Need a Smile File
Take a peek into my own collected notes of thanks and gather your own evidence of acknowledgement and love in the video below:
Be Present to Praise
Many cherished texts on creativity address dealing with negative feedback, failure, and discouragement. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield come immediately to mind though there are many others. Every artist and person trying to accomplish something exp;eriences this.
I was experiencing a recent bout of difficulty and resistance and was feeling frustrated so was glad to be reminded of this resource I’m glad to have in my toolkit.
This year I have been reading Matthew Dicks’ book, Someday is Today and to this point, he stresses that, “Our work will be scrutinized, criticized, and utterly dismissed.” (Ebook Location: 3,884) Maybe you are currently experiencing such a period of discouragement or negative messages.
According to Dicks and backed by research, “Sadly, human beings are wired to remember and retain the negative over the positive. (…) Studies have shown that a person needs to hear at least 5.6 positive statements in order to counteract a single negative one.” (Someday is Today 3,920; 3,914)
Looking at all the thoughtful notes and kind words lifted my spirits, reminded me of the value of my work, and helped me carry on with enthusiasm. As Dicks intones, “In these times of need, this collection of compliments might just save you.” (Someday is Today 3,929)
“The world is too full of kindness for us to not allow the kindnesses we’re offered to echo in our minds again and again.”
– Matthew Dicks, Someday is Today 3,960
What to Put in Your File of Smiles
These ideas are just a jumping-off point for your brainstorm of good feedback and reflections of your greatness:
- Thank you notes
- Pen Pal letters
- Professional evaluations
- Performance reviews
- Love letters
- Random compliments received from strangers
- Certificates or Awards
- Ephemera that remind you of feeling seen, accomplished, having a positive impact
- What else will you include?
Questions for Reflection
- What nice things have folks said or written to you in the past?
- How do you keep words of praise and encouragement?
- How do you hope to be spoken of in the future?
- What challenges are you currently struggling to overcome?
- What are you creating?
Resources for Further Exploration
- How (and Why) to Take Dance Notes – Class, Rehearsal, Performance Writing to Grow & Create
- Reflective Practice Through Journaling
- Goal-Setting for Dancers
- Learning from Mistakes and Failure
- Fine Feedback Workshop – How to Give & Receive Constructive Criticism & Promote Dance in the Process
- Bullet Journaling for Order and Inspiration
- Artful Archiving
- My Creative Morning Ritual
The best way to keep up-to-date on everything I’m coaching, teaching, creating and sharing about as well as my favorite work from other creators is to subscribe to my email newsletter. Would love to be connected to you there, on social media, online or in-person.
Thanks for reading and moving together in spirit or in fact. Take care of yourself, pay attention, and hope to see you again.
Blythe Stephens, MFA & Bliss Catalyst
they/them or she/her
Creator of A Blythe Coach @ablythecoach
helping multi-passionate creatives dance through their difficulties,
taking leaps of faith into fulfillment through coaching, yoga & dance education